Finding Your Passion
There is a widely conceived notion that the secret to happiness and success is finding our one true calling in life: our passion. This romanticized view of passion tells the tale of a person finding the perfect job, activity, or cause that immediately clicks for them and becomes their driving purpose and key to perpetual bliss. Why does it feel so hard then to find our passion? We perceive other people living that very story, but it often feels unattainable. Maybe we don’t feel an instant connection with anything or maybe we face some kind of adversity that surely wouldn’t exist if it was our true passion. So we give up. The truth is, this is not the whole story of passion. Rather, it chronicles what psychologists call the Fit Mindset of passion, this notion of finding one thing that we need in life. However, there is a very different narrative that unfolds when we adopt what is called the Growth Mindset, understanding that instead of finding passion, it is something that is developed.
Having a growth mindset is embracing that passion is something that we create through the continued growth of our interests. Typically, interests that have the potential to grow into passion will satisfy three main criteria: provide a feeling of competency and progression, provide a feeling of control and freedom of expression, and lastly, provide a feeling of relevancy and connection to others. When these three needs are met, there is a higher likelihood of satisfaction. Still, even if our pursuits meet this criteria, we inevitably encounter challenges that question the existence of passion. Maintaining the motivation to keep working at our interests during hard times is as much a mindset as it is a consistent practice of placing value in process over outcomes. By deeming our process our priority, we shift our source of motivation from external factors to internal ones, which is a much more enduring and lasting reservoir. Furthermore, it changes our relationship with failure and delimits our definition of success. Failures morph from a measurement of invalidation to a tool to learn and try again. Even successes are no longer attached to finite outcomes, but rather to the infinite game of getting better and self improvement. When we cultivate our interests and commit to our process with compassion and patience for ourselves, we “find” our passion.
At Pathways Neuropsychology Associates we are committed to helping you reach your goals and living the life of passion that you are looking for. Please call us at 732-930-2242 to set up an appointment with one of our expert therapists. We are now able to treat via teletherapy.
